Survey Says!

The Inbox shares a quiz – it is my duty to take it and find out who I really am. Really – I cannot tell, I lost the little name tag that use to be on my shirt.

1. What time did you get up this morning? Is Lunch a Time?
2. How do you like your steak? Medium – Or However the Chef chooses to make it (NEVER send it back! Trust me!)
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Cinema? Do we still use this word?
4. What is your favorite TV show? Hmm. LOST. its an experience.
5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? New Zealand or Italy – but USA works well for me. I mean,I am here and all.
6. What did you have for breakfast? A Banana –
7. What is your favorite cuisine? People, if unavailable then a good old fashioned cheeseburger.
8. What foods do you dislike? Fish and Kangaroo, I have never eaten one, a Kangaroo – but I can guess.
9. Favorite Place to Eat? Someplace new –
10. Favorite dressing? Earth Tones.
11.What kind of vehicle do you drive? Car
12. What are your favorite clothes? I like em my birthday suit.
13. Where would you visit if you had the chance? Girls Locker Room
14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? What was the state of the Cup Prior to this Question?
15. Where would you want to retire? Bed usually or the couch. I am semi-flexible.
16. Favorite time of day? Hmm. 3:22 – but I also enjoy 9:18. Its a Toss Up.
17. Where were you born? Germany – shhh – don’t tell anyone.
18. What is your favorite sport to watch? Fishing! Its RIVITING! And when I catch the Watching the Grass Grow Classic on ESPN9 – NIRVANA!
19. Who do you think will not tag you back? Am I it? Shit ? did not even know I was playing.
20. Person you expect to tag you back first? See Above
21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this? Bill Gates but we are not really on speaking terms since the incident?
22. Bird watcher? Is he looking at me? Why? What does he want?
23. Are you a morning person or a night person? As long I do not wake up naked, tied to a bumper I am happy either way.
24. Do you have any pets? Yep
25. Any new and exciting news you’d like to share? I peed 20 minutes ago.
26. What did you want to be when you were little? Bigger –
27. What is your best childhood memory? Puberty – OH the discoveries!
28. Are you a cat or dog person? COG
29. What’s the strangest thing you’ve bought lately? A Hooker, she had one good eye and a Hump. But the price was right.
30. Always wear your seat belt? Always, comes in handy when I am drunk on the couch.
31. Been in a car accident? Once, but I could not find a rest stop and well the seats were not cloth so no biggie.
32. Any pet peeves? No. Never even seen a Peeve, so I have no idea how good of a Pet they would make.
33. Favorite Pizza Toppings? Cheese –
34. Favorite Flower? Hmm. White I suppose – but I also like a Little Rye depending on the occasion.
35. Favorite ice cream? Peppermint Stick or Mint Chocolate Chip I suppose.
36. Favorite fast food restaurant? Its all the same –
37. How many times did you fail your driver’s test? 2. Paid the Guy on the third.
38. From whom did you get your last email? Someone who thinks my Penis is too small. And this nice Nigerian Person who wants to give me a lot of money. Fingers Crossed!
39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Strippers-R-Us
40. Do anything spontaneous lately? I peed 24 minutes ago.
41. Like your job? Sure why not. If you say so.
42. Broccoli? Ummm – Soup?
43. What was your favorite vacation? Hmm, nothing rises to the top. All of them have been great. There was an that ill fated South American trip to sell a Kidney – but we don’t like to talk about that.
44. Last person you went out to dinner with? My Lovely wife, her father and Step Mother.
45. What are you listening to right now? The Voices in my Head and I will NOT shave my nipples!
46. What is your favorite color? I try to show no favoritism. The world is Translucent in my eyes.
47. How many tattoos do you have? One REALLY good one.
48. How many are you tagging for this quiz? Its like elk in the wild only the slow ones.
49. What time did you finish this quiz? 12:59 AM EST –
50. Coffee Drinker? Hey! I thought I was done! As was alluded to by the last question! NOW that answer is wrong! Oh and YES good lord yes. .
51. What would you tell yourself if you could go back in time? DUDE! She is SO lying and she is NOT 18!!!!!!!

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Published in: on August 21, 2009 at 11:24 am  Comments Off on Survey Says!  

Star Trek – 2009

Director: J.J. Abrams

Starring: Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Simon Pegg, Leonard Nimoy (To name but a few)

“Existing in the realm of casual Trek fandom, I found this picture a fantastically fun and satisfying ride that easily rebooted and re energized a franchise while maintaining a healthy respect for the Canon and its devoted fans.”

Published in: on August 21, 2009 at 11:06 am  Comments Off on Star Trek – 2009  

The Happening

Unfortunately, once you invest an hour and thirty one minutes attempting to decipher what is happening, you realize you never really cared in the first place.

Published in: on August 21, 2009 at 11:03 am  Comments Off on The Happening  

Lady In The Water

I personally found “Lady In The Water” an enjoyable, easily palatable little bedtime story that was a fresh step away from the ear bending it-was-all-a-dream twist ending we are accustomed to from a Shyamalan Project.

Published in: on August 21, 2009 at 11:02 am  Comments Off on Lady In The Water  

The Beginning..

You have to begin somewhere – there has to be a “first” post – so I figured I would present an older posting, call it a reprint. First editions can be printed and and will include a signature – not mine – but someone will feel like writing their name, people like doing that. Unless its a check, then, they hesitate.

——————————————————–

I was born into this world from the womb of a woman. A strong woman, for her hips were small and I was large. Screams accompanied my arrival, forced by a driven maternal will. Cursed was my father, for it was his sperm and choice of wine which created this …….mess.

Wrapped in a blanket made of hemp, knitted by blind Asian monks in a monastery in east Brooklyn, I was handed to my mother. Leaving the drunken midwifes house, her smiling, waving from her porch as she searched for a mop, I took my first, tentative breath of the new world, and wondered in a mosaic of newborn thoughts, if I would ever truly get this taste out of my mouth.

A childhood of blissful solitude , my wanderlust parents continued the journey to find themselves, searching for themselves somehow did not involve paying rent and it seemed the pursuit of ones own inner peace was accompanied by the task of moving often, at midnight, via the window. Blissful, organic existence. We grew our own tomatoes, sung songs around the campfire, primarily because we had no house, but a campfire, it would not work in a house, we were blissful….organic, cold.

The first day of school…..wearing my pants made from a hemp blanket, knitted by blind monks in a monastery in east Brooklyn. Children , blissful children, so like me, except for their skin.. clean… and showered, designer Wal-Mart clothes and perfect teeth…. blissful children who did not judge.. simply threw their stones without contempt or malice… what is a bruised cheek or fractured eye but a sign that society has embraced you… hugged you and accepted you as one of their own…

Published in: on August 20, 2009 at 12:13 pm  Comments Off on The Beginning..  

Yes Man

If you have ever pondered the possibility of the adorable Zooey Deschanal, and the Ever Adaptable Jim Carry being able to turn an unimaginative, overly winded, carbon copy of liar liar into a relatively watchable piece of cinema; you can rest easy with the answer echoing as No.

Published in: on August 20, 2009 at 11:59 am  Leave a Comment  

Moving McAllister

Indie movies are usually allowed forgiveness in many areas, however, Moving McAllister falls drastically short in an attempt to bundle 20 minutes of watchable content into an Hour and 29 Minute movie.

Published in: on August 20, 2009 at 11:51 am  Comments Off on Moving McAllister  

Zack and Miri Make a Porno

Kevin Smith employs his unique comedic stamp to a pornocopia parody, that presents loyal fans with frontal nudity and a cover your eyes poo gag, but still manages to not lose sight of the heart and humor that lives at the core of the story.

Published in: on August 20, 2009 at 11:45 am  Comments Off on Zack and Miri Make a Porno