Yard Sales – An Adventure in Micro-Retail

Reluctantly – we venture forth into the occupation – for only a weekend – a brief bubble of time – into a Retail Establishment.

Name of our little venture – “Yard Sale” or more commonly known – “Let my Crap become Your Crap”

You wake before dawn – because there are those that feel 7AM is the only time “Crap” is interesting or carries any true value, by 10 AM I assume these folks figure the “Crap” has spoiled, and they simply cannot buy OLD “Crap” – that would not be respectable, it must be freshly coated in a light dew from the morning. You spread your “Crap” on your lawn, ensuring Like is with Like, and that each little item has a private sticker acknowledging its $1.00 “value” – which is a deep, philosophical debate as the “Crap” is laid out …

“Well it would be nice to at least get a Quarter – so we better mark it a dollar.”

Because – for some reason, your “Crap” is not really worth what you think its worth, once it has left the lot, its resale value plummets.

Yet, really, your meager little retail establishment that sits on tables, towels and boards across saw horses, is sporting a “Going out of Business” sale from Day 1. You don’t WANT your “Crap” – it has served its purpose, items that have long since been tucked away in your closet, past gifts that hope beyond hope the original gifter does not “pop in” to see that their $35.00 useless little Decor item that was purchased two days before your birthday with little thought to your “Actual” tastes and or Current Decor, has now been priced at a “Blowout” price of $3.00.

With the Hopes that SOMEONE will want that little piece of thoughtful “Crap” for a Buck.

So, you spend your days, chatting with people you would normally ignore, smiling at people you would generally slap, and bartering with people who only want to give you .50 for a Brand-New-Read-Once-Copy of thes Latest Dan Brown Hardback – which you grudgingly accept – and they give you a $20.00 and wonder if you have change?

Why – yes I do, I have had a “change” of heart – now here is a Dollar, please get the hell off my Lawn.

Yard Sales – the one venture when you finish, and realize most of your “Crap” has an intrisic value of the box it is loaded into to deliver to the Salvation Army – where you find yourself showering off at the end of the day as if you were Cher in Silkwood.

Yard Sales.

Store is now closed, please, come again when this memory has subsided like the pain of childbirth, and I forget exactly how I feel right now, and am willing to break out the saw horses, towels and the tables, and find you fondling my “Crap” at Seven AM.

Yet, the litte voice whispers, as a reminder…

“Yes, sure, why the hell not, a Nickle is EXACTLY what I think that Watch my Aunt Gave me prior to the Skiing accident is worth. Oh, you have a $20.00, of COURSE I can break that! Are Quaters Ok?” 

Yard Sales.

Published in: on September 21, 2009 at 3:41 pm  Comments Off on Yard Sales – An Adventure in Micro-Retail  
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